By Cassy van Eeden
But instead of letting these things – or anything really – overcome her, Hufke has set out to do something about it. Something that really matters.
As a victim of abuse, Hufke knows what it’s like to need help. And she knows what it’s like to not get the help you need. Hufke tried to tell the people who came to her school to do plays about abuse about what had happened to her. She would draw pictures to try and get people to understand. No one got it.
She was eventually taken to a psychologist, one of many she would end up seeing. When she found herself faced with a person who had no idea what it was like to go through what she had, asking her how it made her feel, Hufke felt like the kind of hope she longed for didn’t exist. “That was a big thing for me. [As a psychologist] you’ve studied it, but you haven’t experienced it.”
“I wanted someone I could relate to, someone that felt my pain.” And it wasn’t until many years later, after surviving further abuse, that Hufke received that kind of help. She was counselled by someone who knew what it was like and who gave her guidance based on experience. “I think that’s the best kind of help you can get,” she says.
This is the kind of help that Hufke wants Her-SA to provide. “I would really like to see a whole lot of empowered women, helping each other,” she says. Although the website is still growing, Hufke is starting to see this network of women helping women develop.
Her-SA is an online platform created specifically as a support structure for woman. The website is home to a forum where anything from abuse to illness and from eating disorders to weddings can be discussed; a blog packed with advice and relatable stories and a collection of resources and contact information for local helplines. More than anything, Her-SA is a place of safety where women from all walks of life can share their experiences and advice, help others and receive help, support and encouragement.
“The best way a person can heal is to share their story,” says Hufke. “And the more you speak out, the more others will want to speak out.”
It’s as simple as registering on the website. And the beauty of it is that users are able to remain anonymous, which is especially helpful when discussing sensitive personal issues.
Currently, Her-SA is being run by Hufke, with the help of a friend. Hufke is looking to recruit other administrators for the Her-SA Facebook page, as well as other volunteers and sponsors to help further the project. You can sign up here to get involved.
When speaking about her past, Hufke says: “You can either allow it to consume you, or you can make something of yourself.” This is exactly what she has done. Instead of being overcome by her negative experiences, Hufke is driven by her past to create a brighter future for other South African women.
For more information and to get involved, visit the Her-SA website. Alternatively, connect with the community via Facebook and Twitter.